Creating Successful Relationships Through Proven Communication Skills

This is guest post by Dr. Georgianna Donadio, the author of Changing Behavior

Nothing is more critical to our health than our relationships and nothing is more critical to our relationships than how we communicate. How often have you had a difficult discussion with someone that didn't go as you intended or left a meeting with an important person in your life unsatisfied?

To change these experiences, the answer lies in having the right communication skills and tools that enable us to respond appropriately in a way that is positive for both us, and the other person. These same tools can transform how we behave in relationships and have been shown to lead to more successful and more fulfilling relationships.
A study at Brigham Young University factoring in 148 studies involving over 300,000 subjects concluded that friends and social relationships, in addition to enhancing our health also appear to enhance our longevity.

Behavior change can seem scary or complicated. If the payoff however, is big enough in terms of your own personal health and your loved ones overall well-being, wouldn't the time and energy you put into changing your behavior be worth the reward?

 The subject of how to successfully change our behaviors is something that has been widely studied and researched for decades. Most of the resulting models of behavior change, however, have not been successful in creating lasting change. Until now. A bestselling, award winning book, Changing Behavior: Immediately Transform Your Relationships with Easy to Learn, Proven Communication Skills, by medical educator and researcher, Dr. Georgianna Donadio, focuses provides easy to learn and proven skills that any of us can apply to all types of relationships to create more successful outcomes.

Dr Donadio’s book offers 12 steps to immediately changing how you relate to others and how they relate to you. Step one begins with recognizing that 50% of the time 90% of us are not focused or paying attention to the conversations – according to a recent Harvard study. When we are with another person our full attention should be on them and not on their inner dialogue about what they are thinking or what they want to say next. Closed body language, looking at our watch, playing with our hair and so forth, send the message that we are not paying attention and that we not interested in what the other person has to say.

As we all want to be valued and know what it feels like to have someone not pay attention to us, when we shift our focus from ourselves to paying attention to the person we are with, the conversation and relationship flourish. Step Two is understanding that holding soft, non-judgmental eye contact with someone communicates that you are fully present to them and also stimulates the limbic portion of the brain to produce oxytocin, the neurotransmitter hormone connected to trust and love.

The book goes on to discuss all 20 dimension and 12 steps to creating fulfilling and successful relationships for yourself and the individuals you communicate with. For more information you can visit www.changingbehavior.org for a free download excerpt from the book.

Dealing With Disappointment - Why We Get Disappointed!

We disappoint ourselves
Others disappoint us

Various outcomes which we have no control of disappoint us.
Even our pet dog can disappoint us!

There really is no escape. We have all been hit by various disappointments in this journey of life.

Since of late I’ve been looking into my recent disappointments and wondered why I was so disappointed in those situations.
This made me realize that I was disappointed because what I expected didn’t happen. I wrote about, Expectations: Is It A human Weakness? before, and this may be an echo of that post.

Why We Get Disappointed


So basically we disappointed when things don’t to live up to our expectations.
Disappointment is our emotional reaction to not getting what we want or expect.

Does that mean we should give up on expectations? I don’t think there is any excitement in life if we don’t expect anything.

For example, if you study well for an exam you expect a better grade.
If you are continuously performing well in your job, you expect a promotion.

No matter who you are or where you live, disappointment will always find you – it’s a shared human experience. But we don’t all respond to disappointment in the same way.
I am not here to tell you what others have already said..
“One’s best success comes after their greatest disappointments.”
- Henry Ward Beecher

“The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire, the size of your dream, and how you handle disappointment along the way.” Robert Kiyosaki

A disappointment is a good thing
Everything happens for a reason
God has a plan for you

As far as I can see there is no way to shield ourselves from future disappointment.
Disappointment is like emotional quicksand that drags you down and tried to bury you!

What matters is how you pick yourself up after that happens.

I would like to hear your opinion on this. Please leave a comment below and share your thoughts.

Related Posts

Hallmark Moments Of 2011: December Comes Then Disappears- Faster & Faster Every Year

The heading above is part of the song, I Need A Silent Night by Amy Grant. How true.. December comes then disappears- faster & faster every year!

I started writing this blog way back in 2006. Back then, blogging was just writing and publishing. While that hasn’t changed much, there’s a lot more than just writing and publishing now! Social Media, blog marketing, video, SEO etc takes so much of time and really takes time out of what I love doing, writing! Hopefully, one day, I would be in a position to outsource all the things that I don’t want to do and just concentrate on writing. Until then, it’s a difficult juggle.

Blogging wise, this year has been huge for me. While things were fairly silent on this blog I was concentrating more on my niche blogs. It was difficult because I also have my day job. Like many people, I like to escape from my cubical nation and be my own boss thus gradually laying the foundation now in small micro steps!

Every year, I sort of have something similar to the Oscars, for blog posts. Have a look at the past years.


This year, it's not quite as grand as it used to be :-) but nevertheless I hope you enjoy...

Thank You

Questions, feedback, post ideas, product inquiries etc I've got many emails this year from various readers. Amongst those were some really heart warming emails. People sharing stories, telling me how certain posts I've written have helped them. Reading those emails makes me realize that the effort that goes into this blog is so... worth it!
Thank you very much.. my dear readers.

Whenever I get inspired and have a few minutes to spare, I will keep blogging here. I hope you are still with me and continue to stay subscribed to Enhance Life RSS through the coming year too.

All the best for the year 2012!

Related Posts

Proven Tips To Get People To Reply Your Email!

Note: I recently started a new blog and all my spare time has been allocated to writing posts for this new blog. Sorry for the lack of posting here.
If you are looking for some thoughtful, actionable blogging tips with a spoonful of wit check out my other blog, Better Blogging Ways


Anyways, I was inspired to write this post because I overheard a conversation where one person was complaining about not getting replies to his emails. The usual tendency is to think “they are not interested in my email” or “they are ignoring me.”
Often, that’s not necessarily the case. The lack of reply may have nothing to do with you, more so it has to do with them! Yes, it’s not me it’s you! ;-)

Common reasons why people don’t reply email

• Waiting on someone else to get more information and then reply
• Too busy to reply
• Forgetting to reply the mail
• Can’t be bothered to reply
• The mail you sent went to their junk email so didn't get them.
• If there’s more than one person in the email TO line, each person might assume that the other might reply
• Doesn’t know the other person is waiting for a reply

So, it’s important to keep these in mind when writing your email.

Here are some email tips I have used over the last few years to get my emails replied to.

Write a good subject line

Be clear on what the email is about. Depending on the person I am sending the email to, I sometimes add a small tag [need your input] or [Action required] to the subject line. This way even without reading the email message, the person knows that I am waiting for reply.

Write short, scan-able emails!

Imagine if you received hundreds or thousands of emails per day. Everyday…. How would you get over the email overwhelm?
* If possible use one email to convey one message
* Use bullet points, group related details into headings
* Make the email scan-able by highlighting areas that you want the person to read!

Notice what I have done above ;-)

End the email with a question

This way the other person knows that you are waiting for a reply. Here are some examples,
What’s your opinion on this?
Do you think …… ?


If there’s more than one person in the email TO line, add a name of the person you are waiting a reply for.
e.g Mark: Can you confirm this is correct?

Write down a deadline

A deadline creates a sense of urgency, and most people hate to miss deadlines!
e.g I need a reply before … so that I can ….

Remind the person to reply you mail

If all of the above tactics fail to get you a reply, you can politely remind the person to reply to your mail.
Here are a few sentences I use,
* I am waiting for your reply. Please let me know about this when you get a chance.
* I was wondering if you have had a chance to look at the e-mail below yet?
* Quick reminder… I am waiting for your reply


What do you normally say? What’s a good way to remind someone to reply to your email without sounding too annoying?

Related Posts

Linchpin: My 3 Favorite Excerpts From the Book

I am an ardent fan of Seth Godin’s books and have read many of his books over the years. So when Linchpin: Are You Indispensable? was released I had high expectations of the book.

The key idea behind Linchpin is that you need to take “ownership” your job, life, and demonstrate the value of what you can offer, by becoming "indispensable".
People will not be indispensable because of power or position, but because of the way they work. Seth terms this as "emotional labor", and what I like to call engagement and passion.
Seth’s compassionate plea is for everyone to “be” an artist – be a Linchpin rather than a cog in the wheel.

I personally found the book to be brilliant and very inspiring; it was really a wake-up call for me. Probably, a wake-up call for most professionals because Seth let's them know that they are heading towards a cliff if they continue “being” who they are!

Here, are a few of my favorite excerpts from the book.

Where Were You When the World Changed?
I grew up in a world where people did what they were told, followed instructions, found a job, made a living, and that was that. Now we live in a world where all the joy and profit have been squeezed out of following
the rules. Outsourcing and automation and the new marketing punish anyone who is merely good, merely obedient, and merely reliable. It doesn't matter if you're a wedding photographer or an insurance broker; there's no longer a clear path to satisfaction in working for the man.

If You Want . . . If you want a job where it's okay to follow the rules, don't be surprised if you get a job where following the rules is all you get to do.
If you want a job where the people who work for you do exactly what they're told, don't be surprised if your boss expects precisely the same thing from you. If you want a job where you don't need to be creative because the company's cost structure is so aggressive that customers just materialize, don't be surprised if the low cost structure costs you your job. If you want a job where you get to do more than follow instructions, don't be surprised if you get asked to do things they never taught you in school. If you want a job where you take intellectual risks all day long, don't be surprised if your insights get you promoted.

You Can't? At the age of four, you were an artist. And at seven, you were a poet. And by the time you were twelve, if you had a lemonade stand, you were an entrepreneur. Of course you can do something that matters. I guess I'm wondering if you want to. There may be a voice in your head that is ready to announce that you can't possibly do what I'm describing. You don't have what it takes; you're not smart enough or trained enough or gifted enough to pull this off. I'd like to ask for a simple clarification. You can't--or you don't want to? I'll accept the second.
It's quite possible that you don't want to. It's possible that making this commitment is too scary or too much work. It's possible that it appears too risky to put yourself on the line and make a commitment to becoming indispensable. A commitment like this raises the bar, and for some people, that might be too high.

Related Posts

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Copyright 2008 TheEnhanceLife.com. All rights reserved.

Original template from OurBlogTemplates.com 2008