How To Cope, The Next Time You Are Caught In Verbal Hurricane

Arguments, are inevitable in life. There are times, when people don’t agree with what YOU want; what you do; what you say. In most situations, you can probably resolve the disagreement in an amicable manner. Other times, it brings out the worst in people.

Here are some tips to help you cope, the next time you are in a heated discussion.

1. Don’t let those words escape

During a verbal hurricane, your temperament usually boils over. You will have offensive things bubbling up in your throat, threatening to burst out of your mouth!
If you go ahead and say it anyway, you might regret it when you have calmed down. Or maybe, you agonize what you could have said. You might be able to apologize once the whole thing blows over, but you can't take your words back.

2. Ask yourself, “Is this really something worth arguing about”

By all means, I am not asking you to be a headless chicken! Sometimes, our ego gets in the way and somehow we NEED to prove that we are right! Arguments can stem from the prettiest of discussions. If it all started from playful banter, don't let it get out of hand.

3. Listen… (without interrupting)

It’s a natural human tendency to interrupt. Make an effort to be patient and let the other person finish the sentence. When you don’t let the other person speak, they tend to get frustrated.

4. Try to prevent any misunderstandings

Many arguments start where one person communicates in a fuzzy or unclear manner, which leads the other person to feel disrespected or hurt. Paraphrase what you have understood to prevent misunderstanding, miscommunication or incomplete communication.

5. “Package” your opinion/view point

Choose your words carefully. Try to stay away from sarcasm, insults etc.

6. Stay Calm

Try not to get “provoked”. Just because the other person raises the voice, doesn’t mean you have to. This is where your temperament will be tested. You can keep completely calm and dominate a conversation without even raising their voice.

What you NEED to remember, when you Don’t Remember the above!

When caught up in a heated conversation, it’s likely that you will not remember any of the above mention tips.
What you need to engrave in your mind is
* Your point of view is NOT the ONLY one (everyone should have)
* The way you argue, will determine how well the issue is resolved.


Are you finding yourself in a more disagreements than you prefer? How do you manage to stay calm through it all?

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• 6 Timeless Ways To Stay Out Of Trouble
• 8 Ways To Ease Yourself Out Of Nosy Questions Without Being Rude
• 7 Ways – How NOT to annoy people

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Leadership: 5 Facts Leadership Gurus Don’t Tell

Leadership: the leader, the supervisor, the boss, the manager.. These titles (and others) describe people who are responsible for getting things accomplished by acting trough others.
Leading can be a daunting task. In some ways it can be positively thrilling. Just as the freedom, responsibility, and respect start to lift you to cloud nine, the paranoia, fear, and anxiety can bring you crashing back down to earth!

I have been a student of leadership for many years and even today, I am still learning! While I have read many books on the subject there are some things, leadership gurus’ don’t cover, as much as we want them to.

1. The ‘F’ word isn’t easy

For most people, firing is not an easy thing to do. Those you must discharge, may have worked at a job for a long time. They may or may not have done their best. Either way, firing can mean they have loss of money, prestige, security and sense of self-worth. Still, if you are going to be true to yourself and to your organization as leader, you have no choice.

2. Leadership is lonely

The scariest down side of the whole thing is the isolation. People do not become leaders because they want to have more dark days of isolation!
One of the hardest times for a leader is when you have to keep your own counsel and make a difficult decision. It may be decision that is received with dismay and resentment, but you are not at liberty to give your staff the complete picture.

3. “Freaking out” isn’t an option

Learning to pull yourself together and gain control over these emotions and actions before they bury you….
This is a tough one. No matter how bad it gets, no matter what kind of day you’re having, you have to hold yourself together.

4. You don’t need to be an expert in everything

It used to be thought that leaders grow into their jobs because of the technical experience and product knowledge they acquire at each step. However, in this age of technical specialization, it is virtually impossible to be more of an expert in everything that those you lead in most leadership jobs. This means that the technical knowledge is far less importance then is how you train you belief system.

5. To lead, you must first win minds

The higher you go, the more you’re under scrutiny from those beneath you who think they can do your job better and those above you who think they are paying you too much (in most cases).

A good deal of leadership in the wining of victories, in everything you do, has to do with your ability to win the minds of the people around you. If you can do this, you’ll not only lead successfully, but you’ll be successful in achieving your goals and objectives.

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Is Heavy Thinking Ruining Your Life?

The mind is like a vehicle! It’s given in good condition with sufficient fuel! The way you steer the wheel (THINKING!) , can lead you to “wonderful treasures” or “destructive destinations” ever known to mankind.

Perhaps, the world would be a better place, if more people spent time “thinking” about circumstances, consequences, decisions BEFORE taking action. Anyone you can think of? politicians, media folks, Ex-s … ahem..

What about you? Are you a moderate thinker? Heavy thinker?

How do you know, when heavy thinking is gradually ruining your life? The simplest answer is that it paralyzes you in certain functions of your daily lifestyle.

• You can’t get that problem or situation out of your mind (a distraction, obviously!)
• You thought about all angles, but it still does not make sense.
• You think that if you spend enough time thinking about it, you will figure it out.
• Over stress yourself and occasionally those around you.

At some point in life, we all go through these phrases of heavy thinking. However, if it is a part of your everyday routine, where you....

• Run things that happened to you over and over in your head
• Think “I should have said this”, “I could have done this”, “I wonder what he/she thinks of me”
• Then… it will become a problem.

Heavy thinking can lead to..

Worry By over thinking things, you make them more and more complicated in your mind. It can turn something fairly simple, into a big pile of worry!

Over-caution All the “what if” questions can sometimes lead to negativity.

Doubt Many people doubt the past, doubt the future, doubt each other, doubt the possibilities and doubt the opportunities. Worse of all, they doubt themselves.

Indecision When worry, over-caution and doubt come into the equation, making a decision can be a daunting task.


Things to do when over thinking takes over the mind

If you have already tried praying, meditating, exercising, here are a few things to remember.

There are some things, despite your best effort you will not be able to change it. You may not LIKE it, but you must ACCEPT them, and move on.

It’s near impossible to find a “exact point” where you will have “everything figured out”.

Try not to constantly relive situations and wish you had made different choices.
Things may be hard and difficult. Your mind has the ability to make it even harder!
Set a deadline for decisions that you postpone. For example, over this week-end I will decide on …..

All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think, we become.~ Lord Buddha

“Thinking” is something that is common to each of us. How do you manage to strike a balance between making the “right” decision and not letting heavy thinking get in your way?

Related Posts

• The 5 Emotions That Drag Us Down Or Shape Our Destiny
• Expectations: Is It A Human Weakness?
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